Four Epic Acts of Corporate Pwnage

Usually when you think of business-types, you picture dull boardrooms with dull people wearing dull suits looking at dull presentations in order to make dull decisions.

Something like this.

However, every once in a while these dull business-types in these dull boardrooms will decide that they have had ENOUGH from somebody and won’t stand for that somebody’s crap anymore. Then they will get creative, and come up with an inventive way to get back at them. The result is an epic act of corporate pwnage. Here are a few examples:

McDonald’s pwns the City of San Francisco

You may remember last year’s headlines about the City of San Francisco banning happy meal toys. Technically, the law forbids any restaurant within city limits from giving away free toys with unhealthy food. The idea was that the toys were used to trick kids into eating unhealthily, thus contributing to the national obesity epidemic. The law prompted a national debate on whether government is too big or whether parents need to take more responsibility for their kids.

McDonald’s decided instead of complying with the ban or simply suing the city in court to overturn the law, they would find a legal way to monkey with the city. Their solution: charge 10 cents for Happy Meal toys. They’re not giving the toys away for free, now, are they? No, they are now selling the toys. Oh, and that 10 cents parents pay goes to the Ronald McDonald House Charities. PWNED!

Information from CBS News.

George Lucas pwns his critics

Before the 3D Star Wars releases planned for next year, before the Clone Wars TV show, before the prequels, the first decision George Lucas made that people weren’t thrilled about was the re-release of the Star Wars trilogy in theaters back in the late 1990s. Instead of just re-releasing the same films, Lucas re-released them with some extra footage and a whole bunch of crammed in CGI stuff.

And then, there was the scene where Han Solo confronted Greedo:

In the original, Han Solo simply shot Greedo. He was a criminal ruffian, so this makes sense. In the new version, Greedo shoots at Han, misses, and only then does Han fire. This makes no sense. Why would Greedo miss from that short of a distance? Is Greedo really that incompetent? And why would Han wait to fire? Isn’t that giving him good guy traits a little too early?

Thus began the “Han Shot First” online meme. People who didn’t like George Lucas ruining their childhood now had a motto to rally behind. They even had a t-shirt:

But wait… whose company produced that t-shirt for Lucas’s critics to buy?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PWNED!

Sorry, I couldn’t find the original article where I read this.

DC pwns Fawcett Comics, Marvel pwns DC

Back in 1938, a new genre of entertainment was started by two guys in Cleveland. You all know what I’m talking about.

Everyone wanted to get in on the superhero action. A whole host of comic books appeared with different costumed heroes with different powers. And some who had the same powers. As in, characters that were blatant Superman ripoffs. Characters like Captain Marvel.

Captain Marvel’s comics outsold Superman’s and DC (Superman’s owners) was not happy. They sued Captain Marvel’s publisher, Fawcett Comics. The long, expensive lawsuit and declining comic sales in the early 1950s combined to close Fawcett’s doors for good in 1953. Then, in 1972, DC bought the rights to Captain Marvel and started publishing new Captain Marvel comics themselves. PWNED!

But wait… in the 20-year interval without a Captain Marvel, that name – “Marvel” – was no longer trademarked. It had simply been too long. A rival comic book publisher named Atlas Comics decided to take advantage of this void, launching their own character named “Captain Marvel” –

– and renaming themselves, well,

This meant that DC couldn’t call their Captain Marvel by his name, they had to make do by naming the comics “The Power of Shazaam”, and avoiding directly using the character’s name in those comics. PWNED!

Information from The Escapist

Ford pwns Ferrari

In 1963, Ferrari decided to put itself up for sale, and Ford was very interested in buying it. Ford wanted in on the hyper-sports-car market, and this seemed like just the ticket to success.

But things went horribly wrong. Enzo Ferrari, founder and CEO of the Italian firm, wanted to retain complete control of its racing division. Ford didn’t like that plan, and told him that if he were to stay in control then Ferrari cars would not be allowed at the Indianapolis 500. In anger, Ferrari pulled out of the deal.

This is where Ford decided to hurt Ferrari where it would hurt most. The result was the Ford GT40.

Speed! Speed!

The car would go on to win the LeMans race four years in a row, from 1966 to 1969. PWNED!

Information from Top Gear.

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